When learning how to be the most effective in relationships we not only need to learn the criteria of when to say no and when to say yes, it is nice to have additional criteria to build from. This is information that is found in the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.
The Law of Sowing and Reaping – Actions lead to Consequences. Always.
The Law of Responsibility – We are responsible TO each other, but not FOR the choices of others. We are NOT responsible for how anyone else thinks.
The Law of Power – We have power over some things, but not over everything. We cannot change people. They have to make choices for themselves.
The Law of Respect – If we want people to respect our boundaries, then we need to respect theirs. This refers back to the first law of sowing and reaping. Respect others if you want respect in return.
The Law of Motivation – We are free to say, “No.” We do not HAVE to say, “Yes.”
The Law of Evaluation – Remember to evaluate the pain our boundaries may cause others. But we don’t need to say, “Yes” from a place of false guilt.
The Law of Proactivity – We act to solve problems based on our values, wants and needs. Be proactive about seeking change in your life.
The Law of Envy – If we focus outside our boundaries onto what others have, we will not receive what we really want. Envy puts us in a state of discontent and steals our peace.
The Law of Activity – Take the initiative in setting limits. Avoid passivity, especially when setting personal boundaries.
The Law of Exposure – Communicate personal boundaries to each other so that everyone knows what to expect and where to draw the line.
When reading through them which ones stand out and give you comfort? Which ones make you uncomfortable? Which ones do you feel are going to be hard to implement?