Dealing with grief this year is going to be tough for many families. I want to make sure you have the skills you need to stay on the path and keep using your DBT skills to help you though this time.
How do you deal with grief? How have you been taught to deal with it? Is it just to avoid or to drink or spend money? Or have you been taught to honor the memory of those who are not with us any more and to lean into your uncomfortable emotions?
- Know your grieving process. Yes, there is a grieving process for everyone. What is yours?
- Start a new tradition this year. What can you do that you have wanted to do, that you saw on pintreset or that you think might be a unique.
- Continue an old tradition. How can you weave in a past dish, decoration or activity that would help to keep a “living legacy” of those who are not with us.
- Be skillful. When the Big Emotions come ( and they will ) what are you going to do? Did you create a plan? What are your distress tolerance skills you can use to help?
- Don’t make it worse. Remember, when you want to engage in old behaviors and do something “chaotic” I want you to stop and ask yourself “what is it that you are trying to avoid?” Can you do some alternate rebellion instead?
You will get through this, you have in the past and while this year is much harder, I want you to STOP right now and think of the hardest thing you have had to do in the past. What was it? How did you get through it? How can you use 1 or more of those skills to cope now.
If you need some ideas on how to get through the holidays check out this list of 64 ideas.