Are you Masking and just don’t know it?

Many of us “Mask” as a coping mechanism and we are not even aware of it. In DBT We use the term Apparent Competence.

Apparent competence refers to the ability of an individual to present themselves as capable, functioning, and emotionally stable despite underlying issues, difficulties, or dysfunctions. This phenomenon is particularly noted in people who may struggle with mental health challenges, such as anxiety, depression, or borderline personality disorder. They may appear outwardly successful, articulate, and in control, masking their internal struggles.

Key characteristics of apparent competence include:

1. High Functioning in Specific Areas: The individual may excel in certain areas of life, such as their career or academics, while struggling significantly in others, such as personal relationships or emotional regulation.
2. Masking Emotional Distress: They often hide their true feelings and distress, presenting a facade of stability and competence to others, which can make it difficult for those around them to recognize their struggles.
3. Inconsistency: There may be a stark contrast between the person’s external appearance and their internal experience, leading to unpredictable behaviors or emotional outbursts when they can no longer maintain the facade.
4. Perfectionism: A tendency towards perfectionism and fear of failure, driving them to maintain a competent appearance at all costs.
5. Social Pressure: Social expectations and stigmas about mental health can contribute to an individual’s effort to appear competent, as they may fear judgment or rejection if their true struggles are revealed.

Understanding apparent competence is crucial for mental health professionals, as it requires looking beyond the surface to provide appropriate support and intervention.

Being vulnerable with your therapist and having a great relationship with them helps to understand this in each session and how this coping mechanism isn’t bad and how to use it to your advantage.

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