Author Archives: rachaeljulstrom

Understanding Dialectics

Dialectics are helpful way to view the world. In simple terms, it is when two opposing truths can be true at the same time. a.) Dialectics teach us that there are more than one way to see a situation and more than one way to solve any problem. b.) Dialectics consider all people to haveContinue reading “Understanding Dialectics”

The Behavior Chain Analysis (BCA) Tool

The Behavior Chain Analysis Tool is used many times throughout the DBT treatment. It can feel overwhelming to some and it is designed to help the client and therapist both understand all the surrounding elements that cause problematic behavior.  Problematic Behaviors can be: Smoking Drinking Cutting/Self Harm Eating Issues Not Taking Medication Missing Sessions/Canceling/Showing upContinue reading “The Behavior Chain Analysis (BCA) Tool”

Relationship Repairs + the 25 Red Flags

Relationships take work. The healthy ones show signs of repairs and valuing each other in the relationships. The Toxic ones have warnings signs and Red Flags. Lack of compromise. Subtle control, such as strongly encouraging you to dress a certain way. Guilt tripping. Coercive behavior, or behavior that pressures you into things. Having a typicallyContinue reading “Relationship Repairs + the 25 Red Flags”

10 Laws of Boundaries and Interpersonal Effectivness

When learning how to be the most effective in relationships we not only need to learn the criteria of when to say no and when to say yes, it is nice to have additional criteria to build from. This is information that is found in the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. JohnContinue reading “10 Laws of Boundaries and Interpersonal Effectivness”

Resource: How I Hacked Online Dating

Do you know your values?

Have you ever filled out a values assessment or taken the time to put words on what your values are? This is a quick exercise that will help you to narrow down the language to help you understand the things that are most important to you and check in with yourself that you are respectingContinue reading “Do you know your values?”

Interpersonal Effectiveness: Criteria for Saying Yes and No

Do you know how to effectively say YES and NO? The following is the DBT criteria for how to learn the intensity and the criteria on asking for a need to be met or for you to say no effectively and still maintain the relationship. At the end there is a game you can useContinue reading “Interpersonal Effectiveness: Criteria for Saying Yes and No”

GIVE Skill + Learning how to Validate

The GIVE Skill in Interpersonal Effectiveness is a great reminder of our approach and how we address people who we are asking something from or saying No to. It is hard to set boundaries and learning how to ask for our needs to be met. The give skill is a way to slow it down,Continue reading “GIVE Skill + Learning how to Validate”